When the clock strikes 5 on a friday, every normalized workaholic immediately runs out of their little office space cubicle straight to their car (or the metro if you don’t happen to work out in the middle-of-nowhere, virginia) to make it home for that happy hour cosmopolitan. Like every other responsible adult, i was speeding home to make it back for a night infused of wine, sex and the city, and catching up on life outside of the executive insurance bubble. Yet my plans for relaxation where immediately…stalled.

As I was driving down the one and only freeway that takes me from Rossyln to Chantilly (yes, virginia has only 1 freeway I can take…how typical of the east coast to be still underdeveloped in the world of highways), I suddenly see signs illuminating the phrase “traffic ahead.” Now, as a veteran of this road, I thought it just meant slight congestion at the merge up ahead. Yet, I was beyond wrong. 

As I approached the merge, all traffic was immediately brought to a stop. For once being a responsible adult, I switched onto the AM radio station only to hear that 66 was completely shut down due to a huge accident. After waiting 45 minutes to move exactly 5 feet to the exit to take the backroads, I might have slowed down (to an even slower snail’s pace) to see what type of multi-car pile-up and grotseque injuries were strewn on the freeway. To my suprise, do you know what sight I witnessed??

An SUV hit a large white minivan. Minor damage was evident to both vehicles. Yet, the true catastrophe of the obviously debilitating accident was in fact the 25+ individuals who were handcuffed all along the highway. As there was no ambulance present on the scene, it was obvious that these men had only sustained minor injuries.

Therefore, my weekend of relaxation from the stresses of work and the dire bad luck was utterly stalled by the presence of handcuffed men who were UNINJURED in their fender-bender. 

All I can say is that I miss California and the 6 by 6 freeways that are present there.