To preface this short-story, it is important to note that I have actually only been the legal owner of my mercedes benz SLK 230 circa 2000 for 1 year (as of today ironically!) as it was previously purchased brand new by my parents as a gift to my mother for mothers day. Furthermore, it should be duly acknowledged that it has been a cumbersome, horrific purchase. Now that this preface has been set, let the story begin.

My BB (as you could say I “fondly” call her) has been a very tempermental old lady ever since she came into my posession. Loudly acknowledging that she HATES dc, the minute her brand new all-weather tires touched down on the cold asphalt in 2008, she immediately demanded to be taken for repair! Though on a semi-positive note, I had not had that many problems since then (and i pray to all g-ds that it stays that way!)

As all car owners know, every year a car needs a service (most often automated by a little service symbol that lights up on the dashboard). During this inspection, the dealership looks at the brakes, oil, windsheild wipers, etc..Well when the time came for BB to be serviced, I dutifully drove her to Mercedes Benz in VA for her inspection. Furthermore, there was a slightly irrating window leak (miniscule) that I wanted them to look at. 24 hours later, the car was ready and I went to pick it up and pay the over-blown bill.

The next day, fixed car in hand, I drove to work and parked the car for the day. After exiting my work holiday party, where I was told to BYOB and adamently refused, I came to my car, opened the door, and found my passenger side seat SOAKED in water. In a panic, I immediately call my service tech and drive as fast as the rain will permit back to the dealership. Of course she promises me to inspect it for free. The first hump in the road is waiting for my rental…a GT mustang as everything else is out. 45 MINUTES later…the rental is delivered.

Fast forward to 5 days later. I have quite enjoyed my time with the ’stang as i like to call it, when I receive a call from my service tech informing me that OOPS! The technician working on the car forgot to put all the screws that hold the window in the door back. oops? OOPS? An oops is leaving a handsmug on the windsheild. This can be quantified as a major BOOBOO. Exactly 1 hour after her initial phone call, she calls back informing me that OOPS AGAIN they snapped off my antenna when they put the car through the wash…but not to worry! It will be replaced free of charge. The car was to be ready by 3pm  so I planned to head over at 5 to get it.

When I get to the dealership, I go to the front desk where a young russian woman is sitting. I smile a dazzling smile and request for my car to be pulled up. After ignoring me for 5 minutes she saunters over to check on it. 15 minutes later, I see an SLK vaguely ressembling my own being pulled up. Yet, there is one difference between this SLK and mine. This SLK looks like an elephant squated and took a dump all over it. ALL over it. Now, I am not an extremely snobby person at all; but there is no way I plan on driving the car home looking like it went on a safari and was attacked by an elephants butt.

I go speak with my tech and she gives me the “oh my g-d so unacceptable!” speech and promises to have the car ready in 15 minutes. Fine. no worries. a mild hump in the road…or so I thought.

Fast-forward 35 minutes. Car is still not in sight. Mercedes benz employees not in sight. Russian lady…ignoring all my questions (thanks for the comraderie!). I finally catch this man (who of course doesnt speak english) and ask him where my car is. He proceeds to pull it up. still covered in poo. The manager comes to speak to me and informs me OOPS we broke the antenna again and why am I complaining considering he fixed it for free…again. Sir, when you break something…especially three times in a ROW why would I pay for it? He looks at me astonished that I am not buying him coffee for his “kind gesture.” 35 More minutes pass…car is driven out dirty again. I finally lose my cool. I snatch the keys, tell them that they are all incompetent, and zoom off.

Are you serious? A mercedes benz is a luxury car! I realize I may be young, and the car may be old, but you have to be kidding me that they seriously drove it out to me dirty after they BROKE it 3 times…in a row. As the anger boiled over me, I called my tech, and wrote quite an angry yet eloquent letter to management. I informed them that such behavior is UNACCEPTABLE. If I am going to be overcharged for parts and labor, at least I should be overcharged in STYLE! Apparantly my message hit home as I have been promised a free $200 dollar detail on the benz anytime I want.

So ladies and gentleman what is the lesson learned? Mercedes benz sucks. buy a honda.