As duly noted in prior posts, it may be slightly evident that I have had some “minor” problems with my vehicle of choice. I wish I could say that BB has lived a long and productive life, only to be met by an honorable death, which led to her to that VIP car shop in the sky. But in reality…that was not the case.

The day started like any other winter day in the Commonwealth of Virginia. Fully attired in my business fabulous best-black slacks, polo sweater, ugg boots, I decided that because my lovely mercedes has worked properly for exactly 31 days post tune-up (her longest break-free time ever), she deserved some VIP treatment. She was a bit dirty from all the snow, grit, and salt that was over the roads, so I decided to run her through the local Chevron car wash. As I promptly paid the $8.95 that would ultimately lead to the most exciting car wash of my 23 year old life, I pondered my life, my goals, my desire for those Farragamo shoes on sale at the mall-what every twenty something year old thinks about in a car wash of course.

Everything seemed to be progressing normally, until about 5 minutes into the wash. I vaguely remember thinking that the car wash was to myself, and then suddenly noticed how cold it was inside the vehicle. Now, considering it was 33 degrees outside and probably snowing, you would think the low temperature drop was the cause of my discomfort. IF ONLY! As I started looking around the car (on a whim I may add!) the sight that met me was startling. Clearly, I was getting a 2-for-1 special on my car wash: not only was water being shot at the outside of my car, but it was being shot through my airconditioning directly AT ME! Within a few minutes, gallons of water started pouring through my air conditioning by my dashboard and by my feet. The only logical solution I had to rid myself of this dilemma was to slam my foot on the gas and zoom out of the car wash as fast as I could. Now, this logic was slightly tainted, as this forced the water to pour through the air conditioning even faster. Clearly, I did not recall anything I learned in physics all those years ago about that little mundane concept known as velocity.

As I already have my mercedes benz dealer on speed dial, I called them and was told to drive the car over IMMEDIATELY. Exactly 23 minutes and 54 seconds later, I pull up to the service center in Alexandria. I am met by several concerned faces. One technician immediately starts taking pictures of my car, a second technicians offers to get me coffee (my request for a bottle of vodka and was instantly denied), and a third technician assures me that the damage cannot be that bad. Cannot be that bad?! My interior was peeling due to water damage, the air conditioning was flooded, and there were two feet of standing water on my passenger side. Their response? at least you werent hurt. I can see it already: death by drowning in car inside local car wash. A head-line article for any young journalist looking to build their career!

Being somewhat knowledgable that this was not a small problem, I called my car insurance representative and placed a claim report. I was told that an agent would come look at the car, assess the damage, and advise me if it was covered by my policy. Exactly 48 hours later, I received a call from my agent. She stated that this was one of the worst cases of water damage she has ever seen and what lake did I drive the car into. I, being naive, first assumed that I misunderstood her question, but oh no-she was dead serious. After stating several times that it was a car WASH and I do not drive into lakes on a regular basis, she seemed somewhat convinced and told me she would be in touch in regards to my claim.

Ironically, just a few short minutes later, I received a call from Mercedes Benz. The technician himself called to inform me that there apparantly was a leaf stuck in my rain gutter which caused for water to flood the main compartment of the car. Oh, and he had noticed that same leaf when I had my car serviced 31 days ago. When I kindly asked him why he did not remove the leaf then, he responded nochatantly that I had not asked me to. I did not ask him to? Am I incorrect to think that when you pay an individual an inordinate amount of money for a service that they should maybe consider going above and beyond their job description of eating greasy hoagie sandwiches all day and remove the leaf that was in my rain gutter? To add insult to injury, he also stated that if I was a responsible car owner, I should have known to clean my rain duck myself and remove the leaf.

Now, I am not claiming to be Albert Einstein, but if I was to be the “Responsible car owner” I have been accused of not being, than there is really no need for me to pay mercedes anything. In fact, they should refund me the thousands of dollars I spent on repairs and possible bills to my therapist since I can “clearly do it all by reading my owners manual.”

Poor BB; a life cut short due to moldy leaves, clogged rain gutters, and an endless supply of greasy take out food. RIP.